Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...Somewhere Else

Southerners and snow; it's a bit of an odd combination. A few parts of the South are accustomed to a few inches of snow every year or two, but the majority of us just see it with eyes of disdain and/or horror. When there's even a chance of snow, people rush out, stock up on bread and milk, and drive in any lane they see, cowering in fear of the "giant blizzard" that's on its way.

People also seem to lack the basics skills necessary for driving in the snow. It's bad enough when it rains, but a few sightings of the fluffy white stuff and all common sense is lost to oblivion. Granted, because we so seldom get snow, there's not a lot of chance for experience.

Thanks to our sudden weather changes down South, often times the ground isn't cold enough for snow to stick for more than an hour or so. But one of the biggest problems I've encountered with Southern winters is the ice. We always get ice. It seems to almost always rain right before it snows, which leaves a nice wet layer for the snow to rest upon and freeze once the sun goes down. The next day, some of the snow melts, but usually not enough to do anything but make it more treacherous. That freezes again that night, leaving more ice.

All in all, Southerners just do better in warm weather. We have nice weather 9 months out of the year, even if it is a bit on the hot and muggy side sometimes, but that other 3 months just about does us in.

Peaches-n-Cream

I have been incredibly absent lately, but I figured what better way to come back than with a city adventure.  I recently traveled to Atlanta, GA, my likely future home. 

Atlanta is the largest city in the Southeastern United States (excluding Miami, but like I said before, I don't consider FL a Southern state), a title once held by New Orleans, LA, and the gay capital of the South.  Atlanta has to be one of the most welcoming and diverse cities in America.  And it has everything you'd want in a large metropolis: great public transport, a diverse population, great restaurants, wonderful nightlife, and, best of all, Southern culture. 

While there, I experienced a couple different restaurants.  The first was The Flying Biscuit at 1001 Piedmont Ave.  Technically a chain, but it has all the charm Midtown Atlanta has to offer.  And great food.  I definitely recommend the Roasted Red Pepper Hummus appetizer and the Georgia Peaches-n-Cream for dessert.  And what better to eat Georgia?

The other restaurant we tried was Canton Cooks at 5984 Roswell Road Northeast.  We were actually looking for another Chinese restaurant that the Urban Spoon app on my phone gave us, but we couldn't find it.  We stumbled upon Canton Cooks and were pleasantly surprised by the hours.  While they're closed on Wednesdays, they're open until 2 am every other night of the week.  And the food is amazing.  They have a lot of the usual things you would expect at a Chinese restaurant, but in a less Americanized fashion.  And there are tons of authentic choices.  I would most definitely recommend it. And you can't beat the prices.  Very reasonable.  Not to mention, it's fun to relive the 1980's in the decor.  

Expect many more updates on Atlanta dining and attractions as it's one of my favorite cities and not but a couple hours from my current location. 

Lesbians & Softball

I haven't kept up with this lately, but I'm gonna start back up.  I'm gonna start back wiht a case of...well, I'm not quite sure what to call it. 

I first heard about this yesterday through twitter, via the Commercial Appeal's (our local paper here in Memphis) Twitter account.  Then Nashville's paper, The Tennessean picked it up, ans I saw it on their Twitter account.  Then The Knoxville New Sentinel got it.  Next thing I know, The Advocate's Twitter has a story about the article.  It hit the national level. 

Bellevue Baptist Church (aka Fort God or Six Flags over Jesus), the church that I attended from the age of 5 until the age of 18, was in the news.  Bellevue, for those of you not in the area, is a megachurch with about 30.000 members.  Actually, I bet that number has dropped because of recent internal scandal, my generation's disillusionment with the place having gone through all the things that happened there.  From teen preganancies that lead to suicide due to the staff's inability to show compassion to sex scandals with church staff.  But that's beside the point.  Big church, got it. 

Being the size that it is, Bellevue has traditionall had giant leagues that play nothing but other Bellevue teams.  But, they had decided to open their adult softball league to non-Bellevue teams.  There was another team that typically played in Bartlett (just north of the church) that had a lesbian coach and a few lesbains players.  The tema captain went to the interest meeting, paid the registration fee, and was all set for the season to start last week.  Then the churhc called the coach to set up a meeting to discuss an issue they were having.  In that meeting, the recreation minister said that they weren't going to allow the team to play because their coach lead a "deviant lifestyle."  I'm guessing that they didn't know there were a few lesbian players too, but that wasn't covered in the article. 

I think that is absolutely ridiculous.  Everyone knows that, as a general rule, Southern Baptists are pretty well anti-gay anything.  Big whoop.  YOU'RE PLAYING SOFTBALL.  What does it matter?  There had already been rules set up for all the teams that there was to be no PDA and no clothing with innapropriate language on it.  Sure, I can go for that.  There could be kids around.  But this was supposed to have been away for Bellevue to involve the greater Memphis community.  Great way to start excluding people before you even get started. 

One fo the articles brought up a great point.  A big part of it is likely that Bellevue couldn't stand the idea that some of it's members might actually see happy, well-adjusted gays and lesbians living a normal life.  And a big part of their platform againt homosexuality is that it's abhorrent and that gay people aren't capable of living a "normal" life.  That's waht was pounded into my head for 13 years.  It's also what lead to 3 suicide attempts.  And as I've realized while getting older, it's a big reason I had such a problem telling even my best friend that I was gay.  I had been conditioned that as soon as I opened my mouth about it, everyone would drop me and run, screaming, in the other direction.  And it terrified me.  But, I have yet to encounter that reaction.  I've told 99% of the people I went to high school with, 1 cousin, my close friend's parents all know, and no one has been anything but supportive.  I know my own family is likely to be a different story, but I feel I have enough support to make it through whatever comes. 

But this whole situation makes me angry.  The idea of children still being treated the way that I was is infuriating!  And didn't Jesus teach that we should love everyone?  And that murder is the same as a lie in the eyes of Jehovah?  So, what is it that makes being gay such an atrocisty?  It jsut doesn't add up. 

I think a quote from Ghandi is the perfect way to end this: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

Bless Your Heart...

This past weekend, I watched the youngest of my dad's side of the family walk across the stage and receive her high school diploma, and the honor of Salutatorian.  That side of my family live outside of town...a town consisting of about 400 people...the town of Potts Camp, MS.  I love going down there and a few things came to my attention. 

The first is the lack of exposure to "outsiders" that a town like this experiences. I can definitely see how it would be hard to move to a town like this.  I was probably the first modified person most of the denizens of this sleepy little town had ever seen.  I didn't really notice, as I'm apt to do, but my mom said that heads were turning everywhere.  It's not really surprising.  As I looked around, I saw 3 groups of people filling the newly air conditioned gymnasium, sadly enough: the black families, the rednecks, and the...other white people.  I, needless to say, didn't fit in to any of these groups of people.  This would be very daunting to most people.  However, I'm not completely seen as an outsider.  I'm seen as "Benny's son."  And "Susie's nephew."  My father has been dead for 23 1/2 years, yet I can walk into a store and am instantly greeted with, "Aren't you Benny's boy?"  I take great pride in that.  

Though I don't live there and definitely don't fit the social mold, the people of Potts Camp have never been anything but nice to me.  Because in a town that size, you're family or you're not.  There's not a whole lot of in between.  

On that same note, it makes me think of the good ol' Southern expression: "Bless his/her heart."  This is the Southern excuse to say whatever you damn well please. 

"Bless his heart, he's dumb as a bag of rocks." 

"Lord, bless her heart, she's as sharp as a rusty nail."

I must have heard this phrase 100 times during the day.  And I love it. 

Boudin in Baton Rouge

Like I said, I was recently in Louisiana.  It's a beautiful state and I totally think I could live there.  While we spent most of our time in New Orleans, we did spend a day in Baton Rouge.  But since we really spent most of the day just hanging out with friends, I figure I'll save a post specifically about the city for another day.  Let me just say, they have some of the most beautiful Antebellum homes their along Highland St. if you're ever down that way.

What I really wanna talk about is food and hospitality.  Our friends, Jonathan and Corey are a gay couple living in Baton Rouge, LA.  Not only did they invite us over, they prepared a delicious meal.  And I use the term "friends" loosely here.  Jonathan is a friend of the family to some of my friends I took the trip with.  I had met Jonathan once or twice before, but had never met Corey.  And there were 9 of us!  But they couldn't have been more welcoming.  They met us at the door and introduced themselves to everyone on the way in.  Maybe that seems a weird to say, but it's such a dying tradition.  I can't even remember how many times I've gone to a party at someone's house and spent the whole night wondering who owned the place.  Or walked up to someone and introduced myself and they've looked at me like I was crazy.  And like me, they don't fit into the traditional mold, but they are both very much modern Southern gentlemen. 

Now, on to the food.  We had burgers, chips, regular grill-out food.  But there were a couple things we had that I think a lot of people have probably never tasted especially if they're not from the South.  The first was "Cracklins."  These aren't only seen in the South (they're actually seen all over the world), but they've become a Southern specialty.  It's the skin of an animal and a little fat, typically pork down here, that's just deep fried.  Simple, I know, but they're so good!  Pork rinds come from the same origin.

But the real treat, and on of my favorite Southern foods, is boudin (pronounced boo-daan).  It has a European origin, but like most things that are brought to the US from the places our ancestors hail from, we've made it uniquely our own.  Boudin is a combination of a few things.  It's a little bit of rice, Cajun spices, pork, and beef with chicken gizzards and hearts thrown in all in a sausage-like casing.  In days gone by, the intestine was used as casing, but you don't really see that much anymore.  There are different combinations of this, but this is the type we had and that I most enjoy.  It's all mined and ground together, so there aren't any big hunks of anything.  And the flavors compliment each other so well.  It's most readily available near Baton Rouge and to the south and west of there.  It's almost impossible to find anywhere else in the US, as far as I know.  Most people don't have a clue what I'm even talking about when I mention it.  I know it might sound a bit odd, but I definitely recommend giving it a try if you ever have a chance.  You'll be greatly rewarded!

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!!!

I've been gone for a few days and apparently the queue decided not to work while I was gone, so I'll fit in those posts in over the next few days.  I went down to the Big Easy...New Orleans, Louisiana.  New Orleans will be the topic for this post, but the trip in general will inspire a few days worth of material, I'm sure.
I guess I'll start with some history.  New Orleans was founded May 7, 1718 and named for Philippe II, Duke of Orléans, who was Regent of France at the time.  After some swapping between the French and Spanish, it landed in French hands.  These cultures meeting on the banks of the Mississippi River are what resulted in the distinct style of architecture that make New Orleans so unique today.  At one point, New Orleans was actually the largest city in the South, but has since been eclipsed by Houston, Dallas (I consider Texas part of the New South, not the traditional), Atlanta, and Miami (though I don't consider Florida a Southern state in any sense of the word, minus geography).
Today, New Orleans is a welcoming, progressive city, all while holding on to the distinctive Southern Charm.  The people of New Orleans are bright and smiling, a patchwork of various cultures, like the architecture of the city itself. New Orleans is an incredibly gay friendly city, especially it's downtown and French Quarter districts.  You can't throw a stone and not hit some kind of Gay Pride symbol of some sort in the latter.  Also the home of Jazz, you can't go anywhere downtown and not hear a random brass band.  While I was there, I stayed in a converted French rowhouse near the corner of Rue Saint-Philippe and Bourbon.  It was BEAUTIFUL!  Here are a few photos.  The first few are from my phone, so I apologize for the quality, but they get better!
Our Rowhouse

Our Front Door

The Bungalow

The Bungalow Ceiling

The Courtyard





The Courtyard Kitty

And like I said, Gay Pride is everywhere!  It was actually a bit odd to be the majority at times.  But I liked it, lol.  And got used to it quickly.  After getting home, I felt a bit out of place for a while.
We only went to one club while in New Orleans, but we had a blast.  "Oz" is a gay club on the corner of Rue Dumaine and Bourbon, just a block from where we were staying.  It was a lot of fun!  It was pretty much a top 40 dance club with a tiny bit of off the charts music.  There were go-go boys as well, if you're into that.  I'm not so much, but they were nice to look at.



My good friend (on the right) and I (on the left).


I would definitely recommend this club for a good time.  I'm not a huge club person, but I had a blast!  As always, the people were great and it's open until the wee hours of the morning.
As far as other eateries, for a nice meal I recommend the French Market Restaurant at the corner of Rue Saint-Philippe and Rue Decatur.  The wait staff couldn't have been a whole lot more professional or helpful.  The food was amazing and the chef has nightly specials.  They can be a bit pricey, but well worth it.  I had the most amazing seafood pasta dish I've ever had.

For a good diner meal or quick breakfast (with a wonderfully flamboyant staff) I The Clover Grill at the corner of Rue Bourbon and Rue Dumaine.  The jukebox was playing constantly, as if the banter of the staff wasn't entertaining enough.  And the food was great.  It's a small place, so there may be a little weight outside, but they get people in and out as quickly as possible.  I don't think we ever waited more than 5 minutes or so and we ate there a couple different times.  And it's  open 24 hours, you can get a little something to soak up the booze whatever time you may get done drinking...for the day.

A good Irish pub what you want?  Go to Flanagan's Pub on Rue Saint-Philippe, between Rue Royale and Rue Chartres.  It's open 24 hours, the staff was very friendly, and the drinks reasonable.
And of course, it's not a trip to New Orleans without beignets at Cafe du Monde on Rue Decatur near Rue Sainte-Anne. Those little French pastries get me every time!

One place I'd stay away from would be The Corner Oyster Bar & Grill on the corner of Decatur and Rue Saint-Peter just southwest of St. Louis Cathedral.  I had an fried oyster poboy there and it wasn't good.  I don't think the oysters were cleaned properly and the tomatoes on it were spoiled, they tried to tell a friend of mine that they couldn't make a frozen margarita with tequila in it, and our waitress was absentee.  When she wasn't, she was pretty much a bitch.
One of the interesting things about New Orleans is that, at least in The French Quarter, there is no anti-open container law.  You can walk around and drink to your heart's content.  That being said, there are open air bars where you can grab a giant daiquiri and keep on going.  Or do a few shots.



And last, but not least, here a few photos from our daily excursions.



St. Louis Cathedral

Joan d'Arc

Like I Was Sayin'...

Yesterday, I talked about the older woman in the mall with dagger eyes for me.  Tonight, I encountered her polar opposite.  As I was getting ready to leave work, we had a client (~65ish) at the window waiting to check out.  I told her that Jackie was putting in charges and getting her meds together...well, her poodle's meds together.  Then she stopped me. 

"I have to ask.  I've seen a lot of young guys with their ears like yours and I've been curious.  Are those just post earrings like mine...or...?"

"No, they actually go all the way through.  It's a slow process of stretching the piercing to accommodate larger jewelry."

She didn't quite seem to understand, so I told her I could take it out if she wanted me to.  She said that was fine, so I did.  I'm always a little hesitant because I know it does bother some people to see a stretched piercing sans jewelry.  But a look of understanding came across her face and, even though I was off the clock, I stood and had a 10 minute conversation with her about the process.  She was genuinely interested, didn't judge, and offered her own thoughts.  It was amazing.  She was so kind.  I wish everyone could meet her.  She was a true Southern Lady. 

The Stare of Death...

Yesterday's blog reminded me of something else that I'd like to talk about.  There were several days in a row that I had to go to the mall for one thing or another.  I was sitting in the food court with friends and we noticed this older woman staring hard enough in our direction to put a hole in concrete.  Let me back up for a second.  I used to be WAY out there as far as style. We're talking spiked dog collars, bondage pants, the works.  And I'm not a small guy.  I'm 6'1" and built like a linebacker.  Needless to say, people used to stare at me.  A lot.  I still get looks sometimes due to my body modifications and mohawk, but I'm just used to it.  So, I don't always notice stuff like that, but everyone else did and filled me in. 

And it threw me for a loop!  She had real disgust and loathing in her eyes.  And we were just having lunch.  There weren't 2 guys making out.  We weren't sacrificing babies to Satan.  We were eating cheap mall Chinese food.  But the look in her eyes was just...unsettling.  And I don't understand it.  What happened to the sweet little old Southern lady that may not approve of something you're doing, but would never dare insult you?

And I seem to get both ends of the stick.  I've definitely had older women that scowl at me and I've had older women who engage me in conversation as to what my body mods mean or how they're done.  And I love that.  They're genuinely interested.  And the ones who look at me like I remember my dad's mom looking at me.  Mommom, born and raised in Potts Camp, MS, was a total Southern lady.  I miss her so much.  But I'm afraid that part of Southern culture is dying.  And that makes me incredibly sad.  But it's something I'm determined to try and keep alive.

A Helping Hand...

Maybe this seems a bit mundane, but this really impressed me.  I was at the mall the other day to get...something...oh, my glasses.  Anywhoo, there was a woman with 2 small kids, a girl ~4 and a boy ~2-3.  The little girl was in front of her and the little boy just a step behind.  She got ready to go down escalator and the little girl hopped right on, followed by the mom, but the little boy just stopped.  The mom didn't really seem to notice until about 1/4 way down the escalator.  She turned to say something to the little boy and realized he was still at the top and told him to come one.  At this point, a man is approaching the top of the escalator and is waiting for the little boy to go on.  The mom realizes the boy isn't gonna get on and starts back up the escalator.  At this point the little boy seems like he's gonna sit down on the escalator and my Final Destination instinct breaks in and I can just see the little boy's arm get ripped off.  Morbid, I know, but that's where my brain goes.  I guess the man at the top of the escalator has the same instinct and snatched the little boy up, out of harm's way.  The mom has made back to the top of the escalator, but loses her balance.  While holding the child, the man reaches out and grabs her arm, keeping her from falling.  

It was so refreshing to see.  So often anymore, I feel like most people would have simply been irritated with the child and parent and could have ignored them or even made the situation worse.  But this man helped a total stranger.  And did I mention that it was a white man and black woman?  Maybe that seems unimportant, but it can really be an issue sometimes, especially in East TN.  This whole situation just really made my day.  He's a true Southern gentleman.

Bring Me To The Deep South...

I thought I'd change it up a bit today.  I really want to promote music artists I like, and for the purposes of this blog, ones specifically form the South.  So, today, I'm gonna talk about Cartel.  The song above is "Deep South", which I felt was fitting. from their most recent album, "Cycles."

Cartel is a 5 member band from just outside Atlanta, GA.  Their first album, "Chroma", was released in 2005.  Let me just say that from the day I picked it up, it didn't leave my CD player for a good 2 months. 

Much to my dismay, Cartel's next album wasn't released for another 2 years.  In 2007, "Cartel" was released.  Definitely a progression from the 1st album, but it kept that sound that is Cartel.  Again, this album didn't leave my stereo for quite a while. Track 13 is probably my favorite.  If you just let it play, after a long pause, there's a hidden song that has to be one of my favorites from the band.  A very simple song, it really hits home with me. 

Their next album, "Cycles" was released in 2009.  Another great release.  Like I said, the featured song up top is form this album.  As is usual for me, I listened to this album for a while when I first got it.  And I've broken it back out for the summer.  It really gets me pumping.  

I think a big reason I love this band is that I can connect to their music.  There's something that feels like home about Cartel.  There's a Southern flavor to it, mixed in with a good dose of pop on a base of rock.  This is a band that I've taken pride in turning several people on to.  Hopefully, this anyone reading this will at least give em a try.  I'm pretty sure you won't be sorry.   

The Simple Things

I've pretty well had to put this blog on hold due to finals, but I just couldn't make this wait.  It's kinda sad, in some ways.  I got off work tonight and ran by McDonald's cause we were slammed and I was hungry.  I sat in line for a while cause everyone was out grabbing study food.  As I got up to the window, the girl at the window got my card, ran it through, handed me my food, whatever,  I said, "Thanks, have a good night!", not really thinking a whole lot about it.  It was her response that got me.  The way she said thank you sounded as if she'd never heard it before.  I just don't get that.  How hard is it to say "please" or "thank you?"  What happened to manners?  Let's face it.  Working the Mickey D's window at 3am isn't exactly the highlight of anyone's life.  Throw a smile their way.  You never know how it might impact someone else. 

Louisiana Adoption

I debated for a while whether or not to talk about this.  But, I decided I would.  The reason I hesitate is that it doesn't solely affect Southern gay couples, but I feel that gay couples are the target of the spirit f the law.  Louisiana recently defeated a bill that would have allowed unmarried singles to adopt children together.  Married couples and single individuals are not affected by this bill. 

Ok, so what's the harm? Married couples can adopt.  Great.  They should be able to.  But not everyone can legally marry, effectively keeping children out of loving homes of gay couples.  There's still single adoption, right?  Well, sure.  There's nothing that explicitly says that a single gay person can't adopt children.  However, that leaves one parent with absolutely no parental rights.  They can't make medical decisions in an emergency or technically even sign a permission slip for a field trip.  It doesn't matter how much that 2nd parent is involved in the child's life.  They have no say.  I'm assuming here that in the event the legal adoptive parent dies or is unable to care for the children, they would be placed in state custody, even if the 2nd parent was willing and able to take care of them.  It's possible that state custody would be temporary, but it would require court hearings and a lot unnecessary red tape.  And there's always the chance that the courts would say no, especially if they came before a judge that was adamantly opposed to gay adoption in the first place.  Let's be honest; as much as I love the South, we encounter more obstacles here than other parts of the country.  I hope to see the day that these issues aren't a problem here.  But there's a lot of work to be done.  

Mississipi Is On A Roll...

Mississippi has really been hit hard this year in the public realm.  Or rather, they've been hitting LGBT youth pretty hard.  There have been 2 major cases of LGBT discrimination in high school from my neighbor to the south of home in the past couple months.  In the first, an Itawamba County refused to allow a lesbian student and her girlfriend to attend prom together.  When the courts ruled that the school was violating Constance's civil rights, they canceled the prom all together.  
But this second case is just ridiculous.  A lesbian student was completely left out of her senior yearbook because the school didn't like that she was wearing a tuxedo in photo that she submitted.  Come on, now!  There's not a single thing wrong with the photograph.  She's not flipping the bird, sticking her tongue out, throwing a peace sign, and she doesn't even have any facial piercings for them to complain about, all things that were complained about during my senior year!  It's a cute photo!  Not only did they leave out her photo, they didn't even mention her.  They just straight up left her out.
How can anyone think that just leaving a student out of a yearbook is even remotely appropriate?  I was livid when the photo studio submitted my unretouched photo for the yearbook because I didn't order prints from them, even though they promised they'd retouch it either way.  I feel so bad for this poor girl.  Mississippi's gonna need to take a step forward in time if they want to stay out of the public eye for things like this.  I know both of these decisions were made by local school authorities, but the state of Mississippi can step in if they chose to.  I think it's about time.  
On a semi-positive note, a Georgia student was allowed to take his male date to his prom.  I say semi-positive because even though he was given some level of public approval, he got kicked out of his parents' house. I can only hope that he had plans for college and to live in the dorms.  Maybe by the end of his first year, they'll realize that he's still their son.